Friday, September 12, 2008

People I Want to Kill, Vol. III

Originally posted on myspace: March 19, 2007 - Monday

People I Want to Kill, Vol. III
Current mood: exhausted

Don't have much time, but I needed a small break from my midterm work to give you three people who read my lowly little blog the latest installment of P.I.W.T.K:

Here goes:

People I Want to Kill, Vol. III

This one is simple. One word. Me.

Yes, I want to kill me. I want to die. I want to sleep forever. I want to take a dirt nap. I would like to push up daisies...

The method of my demise? Well, that's easy. It's already begun and has been in the works for two years now... SCHOOL.

Yes, school. It's killing me. If school doesn't kill me, nicotine will. Who will get to me first? Time will tell. Yet another all nighter with more nicotine and caffeine coursing through my beleaguered system. And if those two things don't get to me fast enough, I'm sure that I'll accidentally stab myself in the carotid artery while building a model with no sleep, and bleed to death.

I'd jump out the window, but I live on the first floor. The most I'd get would be some scratches and some bruises that would hopefully make a nice pattern on my unshaven legs.

Alright. I have to get back to this shit.

People I Want to Kill, Vol. II

Originally posted on myspace: December 5, 2006 - Tuesday

People I Want to Kill Vol. 2
Current mood: annoyed

As I sit here in the computer lab waiting for this slow ass plotter to plot out my floor plans so I can build my model under 24 hours so I can be finished in time for pin up (why such a short amount of time? don't ask. I'll write another blog about it... but I'll let you know that that installment will include the first "non person" people I would like to kill... my computer - or rather, the dead computer that fucked up my life... I digress)...

So anyway, I'm sitting here waiting for suck ass plot... and I'm sitting next to Laura who, I have just discovered, has already finished her model. FINISHED HER MUTHERFUCKING MODEL!!! I can't believe that shit. Of course, HER computer didn't fry and fuck up her life and her progress for final presentation, so of course, she finished. So as a result, I have decided to include Laura in the People I Want to Kill series. Don't get me wrong. I love the girl. She's one of my Insomnia Crew girls and a homegirl for life, but right now, she deserves to be the focus of my wrath. Here goes:

People I want to Kill Vol. 2: LAURA FERGUSON.

I want to kill you Laura because you're done. I'm watching you do some weird shit in sketch up right now and look up hopelessly at the printout of your perspective drawings. I don't have those. They went bye bye. So did my plans. So did my elevations. So did my life. You finished your model and the only thing I can think of to do is to set you on fire using the kindling created from your model scraps. I'm going over to studio, finding your model scraps (or someone else s, I don't care), waiting for you to show up, hog tie you and then tie you to the rather large basswood pole I bought the other day, then set the model scraps underneath you and set you afire.

Yeah, that sounds good. Death by fire. FIRE I SAY!!!

So poetic. Using your model scraps as kindling. I'm a fucking genius.

Please excuse the very bad grammar, word usage, and sentence structure in this blog. I'm agro, tired and frankly, FRUSTRATED.

Ok, I'm gonna go hide in a dark corner and wait for Laura to come 'round so I can pounce on her and set her ablaze.

People I Want to Kill, Vol. I

Originally posted on myspace: November 12, 2006 - Sunday

People I Want to Kill, Vol. 1
Current mood: pissed off
Category: Life

So here's the deal:

I've noticed that my increasing tendency to lean toward the "agro" has disabled me to the point of actual illness. Recent diagnosis? Vertigo. Brought on by stress. I'm not lying. I'm fucking serious. I went to the doctor and everything.

It sucks. It's no fun. Oh fucking well.

So I've decided to compile a list of people I would like to kill, in the hopes that my vertigo will not make so many "visits", shall we say, and disrupt my already hectic life. It will not be an every day thing. Or even an every week thing. And there's usually only one person I would like to see wiped off the earth at a time, so stay tuned and maybe, just maybe, if you feel like killing someone, you can live vicariously through my imagination. This way, we all stay out of jail and we get to vent and, hopefully, feel a little better? Yes?

Let us begin:

For this volume of "People I Want to Kill, Vol. 1", I would so love to carve out the heart of my Contemporary Interior Architecture History and Theories Instructor with a dull, rusty spoon.

Long story short. She's a fucking idiot. I hate her. She makes, not only MY life, but the lives of others in my class, a living hell. I want to say "FUCK YOU" to this bitch as the utensil I stated earlier breaks through the skin and laugh maniacly as I hack away at the breast plate in order to get to the heart. Shit, I don't even know if the bitch has one.... she definitely doesn't have a fucking brain. I won't go into the ins and outs of why I hate her so badly but let's just say this:

This bitch shouldn't be teaching this class. She doesn't know what the fuck she's doing. I am more confused now as we enter the final weeks of class than I was at the beginning of the semester. I'm surprised she's still getting a paycheck. She knows nothing of Theory OR Architecture, let alone Interior Architecture Theory, WHICH THIS CLASS IS ALL ABOUT, and fuck, she DEFINITELY doesn't know how to teach it. Like I said, she's a fucking idiot.

I am preparing a spoon just for this occasion.

If she makes the list a second time, which she may since she's been the main reason for my discontent, panic attacks and vertigo, I'm beating her with a dismembered arm. Preferably her own.

Maybe I'll cut it off with the spoon.

Until next time...


Sorry for the extended "vacation" from my blog. I've had to deal with some b.s. that I'm sure you all are so very interested in.

And I apologize for what I'm about to post... old blogs. Hahaha! From my myspace blog site. I've decided to transfer over my "People I Want to Kill" series over to this blog and I feel, in order to be as anal as humanly possible, that I must post the first three in the series before I post any new ones.

I will be posting Volume IV soon. In the next couple of days. But for now, please enjoy a stroll down memory lane. Complete with the original post dates. They will be posted as individual posts after this one.

Enjoy dammit!